Things people Say

Dear lord… sometimes well meaning people can say the most hurtful things without understanding.  They try to make it better, but…

For instance-

God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.”  This, first, implies that God caused the abuse.  Personally, I want to believe God had nothing to do with the years of incest I survived.  In that case, God didn’t ‘give’ me anything, so he doesn’t control that element.

“It’s all in the past.  You have to pick up and move on.”  Pick up and move on?! Oh, like I broke a heel or failed a test?  Don’t you think I WANT to just move forward as if it were some small event? Of COURSE I wish I could.  I’m TRYING! 

Pray about it.  Give it to God.”  I wish.  I mean, it’s not like I don’t TRY.  But, if I were honest, I’d say I don’t always have much faith that God even knows who I am. I’m a Christian.  I do pray & attend church & study the Bible.  But do I believe He takes time to hear me? As for my childhood, I always want to reply with questions.  Don’t you think I prayed every time I heard him turn my doorknob?  Don’t you know how I prayed with tears in my eyes when I felt his hands touch me?  Don’t you understand how I believed I was his plaything because  I wasn’t ‘christian’ enough?  I wish prayer could just fix it… but it didn’t prevent the abuse, so…

I try to understand that people just want to help but just don’t know how.  For the most part, I just don’t share my pain or my ‘story’ because so few truly understand.

I guess that’s why I share here…

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3 thoughts on “Things people Say

  1. There are so many ignorant people who simply don’t understand, aren’t there? As an atheist, I certainly don’t thing God had anything to do with any abuse I’ve ever received, and the idea that any loving God would allow these awful things to occur just sickens me. I deeply believe in the wonderful powers of good, not in any God though. Good people can make good things happen for themselves and for others. Healing can and I hope will bring further good things into your life, as it has mine. Best wishes to you, always,

    Your healing friend – healing but not yet healed, getting better every day!
    Carolyn

  2. People like that lack depth and might as well just say, “Don’t tell me about your life I’m too caught up in my own.”

    Unless one suffered similar traumas, others definitely don’t understand. I didn’t find a place to release and explore my true challenges until finding this blogging community.

  3. I hate the “in the past” (“sweep it under the rug”). My narcissistic mother repeatedly said that because she didn’t want to deal with anything. Another “God has plans for you?” what exactly does that mean or “everything happens for a reason?” Happens for a reason? I just can’t comprehend that last one, and I posted that question once and got only bible thumper comments which didn’t really answer my question. Thanks for posting this. Deb

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