Life just SUX

I often wonder when things are going to get better.. not GOOD, not GREAT… just BETTER. For the love– I’m 45 am still living like a damn college student. Every month we pay bills (most of them) and then scrape by until the next check. It absolutely sucks– and it’s my fault.

My little visit in April to the hospital & my vacation from work– for the whole freakin month– drained us. I’m blessed that my job prorated my check & divided my “loss” over 6 months, but it also took $500 out of my pay. It may not seem like much to some, but that’s a car payment & water bill. And losing that has so screwed us every month.

Yes. I feel guilty. I can’t provide all the things I want for my kids. I can’t pay all my bills. I spend 1/2 of each months worried about having enough gas & money for emergencies. And I blame me for breaking down & costing us so much.

I just wish things were better.

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